FIGHT!

The moment I realized my life is far less glamorous than people make it out to be was this: 11:48pm, five roommates sleep as I am sitting in a 3'x5' bathroom, on my computer because it is a surprisingly focused environment, with healthy lighting, two key components of late night productivity. That moment is now.

Why am I awake still? My mind is reeling with all the things I need to get in line before tomorrow. Outreach prep, delegating tasks for hospitality, communicating with work duty students, laundry, etc.

Why is there a time cap on these things? I am staffing a DTS, quite simply, no time can be wasted, there is not a moment to lose. Also, I am leaving for the FIGHT!conference in LA tomorrow.

What? Yes, good question. Tomorrow I am flying to LA for a conference that is quite simply going to be monumental and historical. Over a month ago, the Lord started stirring the FIGHT!conference/StudentCall on my heart, within the past week, He's brought everything into alignment so I am able to go. It's a great series of events that will be touched on in upcoming posts.

Speaking of upcoming posts, you can expect them to include information on this next week, the progress of our DTS, what the Lord is doing in my life and the lives of students, plans for outreach, what's after outreach, and whatever ramblings are stirred up. Let me throw this out there: If you haven't already, it just may be the time to put this site in your RSS feed. Things are about to get good, and you're going to want to be in the know.

Also, don't expect any further apologies for irregular posts. I'm trying my best, I'm so busy I sometimes want to cry(in a healthy way of course), and you are extending the most appreciated amounts of grace. You're wonderful.

OH, one last thing. I have decided to send out Christmas card this year. Does this mean I'm officially an adult? Because if Christmas cards are the requirement, I'm about to arrive. Please, I'd love your mailing address so I can send you a copy of my newsletter, and a rather lovely postcard to hang on the fridge.

by the grace of god.

and only by the grace of God has my heart not yet exploded into a million little hearts.

I would like to do well processing and communicating all of the many things that God's doing right now, but I don't have the time, nor do I have necessary amounts of confidence in my ability to write in way that would keep you reading through all the fine details. So, I will leave you briefly with just this one thing:

In regards to the first sentence of this post, I am thoroughly amazed and overwhelmed by the love my Papa's imparting. This is the thing: I can honestly say that I am in love with, and radically devoted to the calling of God on the lives of our students. It is beyond human ability to love in this manner without any previous relationship. Because He has so sweetly revealed His heart for these students, I am able to love like I do. How could we love so deeply and genuinely without even remembering the names to put with the faces? It's just not possible outside of sweet impartations from our Maker. I don't have words to properly express how faithful and trustworthy our Papa is. When I think about how all of this works out, I am so overwhelmed by love, I feel like my heart's only response is to explode into a million little saturated hearts, that fall like confetti.

I had more to say, more details to share, more stories to tell, but after writing that short paragraph, I just can't think of anything else that's quite worthy of being the follow-up. We'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings...

write off

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have officially set up my Missions Account with YWAM Kona. Which, is good news for the both of us because it means that the donations you send my way through the "partnership" link at the bottom of this post, are now tax-deductible, and they will end up in my possession far quicker than if they were to be sent via snail mail or even through my old PayPal account. Praise Jesus? Absolutely. Most sincere apologies for the time it took to arrange this, it's always just a bit hectic around here.

So, there we go. Good news all around. You win, I win, the Kingdom of God advances.

Partnership!

transport.

Dear Faithful Blog Reader,

I am in Kona now, seeking transportation for the next four months. If you feel so inclined to support this cause, I have this idea that you could purchase a vehicle for me, and when I leave, I will sell it, and return to you the money made from the sale, so you would be supporting me with the difference, and an amazing, amazing blessing of wheels.

How do you feel about that?

Kirsten

I'm sitting in the Skagit Valley Co-Op, and this is place is making my mind move.

I. I love the environment here. This place is part grocery store, part deli, part cafe, part "mercantile", 100% co-op, 100% awesome.

II. I am so curious to know what it looks like to do business with a Kingdom mindset. To be in business, to be at work with the people you live with, the people you pray with, the people you eat with. what does it look like to really do new testament life today? i'm thinking about what it would look like to do business in Grand Rapids, semi-Skagit style, mostly-Kingdom style. The wheels are turning, and I am really excited to be praying into this...

III. It's is ska-git. like, le-git. git. this makes more sense when I say it, rather than type it..

Kona in 24 hours. wow.

i'll fly away

t-minus five days.

I've been back in beautiful Grand Rapids for a short two months, and I'm already on my way out again. I definitely need to start this exceptionally over-due post raving about Grand Rapids. So, here I go. I love Grand Rapids. I love the city, I love the suburbs, I love the structures, I love the climate, I love the landscape, I even love the humidity and two solid months of days over eighty degrees, but above all else, I just love the community here. Right now, I'm thinking about how much I love everything, it even makes me not want to complain about the unending construction that is so familiar in a Michigan summer. Do I mind the detours? No. Do I mind 196 being redone with concrete? Of course not. Do I mind the expansion to three lanes? 100% not at all. So, sure I will even be happy about the construction while I am home, but let's get back to the community.

I adore you, sweet Grand Rapidians. Coming back to Crossroads in itself is a major treat, this "church" is family, and it really, really is. Walking in that first Saturday night service that I was back, I could sense such a noticeable difference in the atmosphere, and it can only be accredited to God working through NEAR, the community's seven months of unbroken prayer. I couldn't specifically put my finger on the change, but it was beyond recognizable. As I've been home, I've had the opportunity to connect with people in the community that I probably wouldn't have had a chance to meet with otherwise. I've spent time over cups of coffee talking about prayer, Grand Rapids, intimacy, legalism, and what God wants to do with all of it; beautiful. I've also been beyond blessed to meet with several different house churches, what an amazing opportunity for a missionary. To anyone being sent out: I strongly recommend prioritizing these kind of meetings. The chance to connect with people in your community, who you can build genuine relationship with is crucial, and I'm really starting to understand and appreciate it more and more.

In five days, I will be Kona bound, with a two day detour in the great city of Seattle. I am a bit overwhelmed right now, trying to let this reality sink in. Talking with a friend last night, I've realized that I have not been looking at going away through the lens of "I am leaving Grand Rapids for over a year". I am looking at it through the lens of "I am going to be with my Kona family for over a year". As true as this is, it's similar to closing one eye, and looking through the other, then switching, things are clear, and visible, and good, but not exactly right; unless you are using both eyes to do the looking, things are a bit skewed. With understanding of this, I'm realizing that I have a lot more to do here before I leave, the least of which is packing...

So let me end this post with a few random thoughts:

1. People of Crossroads, you continue to amaze me and bless me beyond what my imagination can fathom. I genuinely love you, and consider it a great privilege and blessing to be praying for you.

2. I wish I would've done a better job managing my time here. I am very sorry if I didn't get the chance to see you while I was home, and I won't be around for quite a while. I have so many people I'd like to say goodbyes to, but it's not very realistic at this point, so let me say this: If I do not say goodbye to you before I leave, it in no way reflects how much I value your presence in my life.

3. If you'd like any information on who I am, what I do, where I will be, prayer requests, etc. I do send out a monthly support letter, hard copy and PDF, so shoot me your address or email, and I'll get you on that mailing list.

4. You should probably know, that you are beautiful, and severely loved.

two months away.

If I could properly articulate the anticipation and trepidation I have about returning home, I would. In thirteen short hours, I will be leaving Kona, on a plane bound for Seattle, before returning to Grand Rapids. Right at the top of my blog it says, "Home is where I fit in", and if that is the case, which it is, Kona is my home. Kona is my home more than anywhere else, but only in this season. This whole time I've been telling myself and the people around me, "I'm not that sad about leaving, I'll be back in two months." True as it may be, one thing you realize in YWAM, is that you need to love every moment with the people you are with because every single one of them is called to something so great, it is entirely possible that you may never see each other again in this life, and let me say this, I know some of the most revolutionary people in my generation.

Dear Kona Family,

You have my heart. You are all uniquely beyond amazing. I am forever committed to seeing you walking in the fullness of your calling. This is a covenant family. I will miss you more than you can imagine, and I just might be back here sooner than planned. Keep Burning.

On that note, Grand Rapids, here I come. Time is limited, let's blaze.

Out of Prague.

One week in Prague was enough. I have such mixed feelings about that city. Parts of it are so beautiful, so surreal, a fairytale city. Other parts are neglected and dirty, coming out of the train station in theses places is like stepping back into communist Prague. The scars of communism are far from healed in this place; they are all over this city still. Even in the beautiful parts , you can still feel it. I feel like the city is so fake, they make the wall and structures look beautiful, but they’ve neglected the hearts. This city restores architecture, but not hearts; they’re trying to make the hurt go away on their own, not realizing that the only way the city will ever really be changed is with Jesus. It is so obvious looking into they eyes of the people, no one is investing and encouraging them; there is no hope, but this is why there is no hope: there is no Jesus (obviously Jesus is in Prague, but this is something different). In the States (and most western countries) people have heard the gospel, they know of the Cross, they’ve been told the Story. Wether or not they choose Him is another story, but at least they have the option. Here in Prague, most people haven’t ever heard, they have no idea who this God really is, this God that desires them, pursues them, romances them. Because of communism most people under fifty haven’t really even heard about this good, loving God and His Son. People haven’t really shared the gospel; they haven’t sown seeds of hope. When you look into eyes, you see that there is no hope waiting to be grown.
In the middle of the night during our burn (twenty-four hours of worship and prayer) a few people on my team were talking about this, and it really hit me: people have never heard. Over and over again I could hear the Lord say, “They’ve never heard. They’ve never heard. They’ve never heard.” I realized that I don’t care about seeing healings, I don’t care about getting words of knowledge, I don’t care about outreach stories. I just want them to hear. I want to share the greatest love I will ever know, I want to plant seeds, I want to give hope. I want to share Jesus.


I'm going a little out of order, but I will be posting more on Prague, Berlin, and Herrnhut soon.

spilling berlin

I've been in Berlin for six days already, and it makes my mind race. The atmosphere here is way lighter than I expected; I definitely feel more free here, and much more at home and welcome. The people seem much more laid back and friendly here than in Amsterdam, but the one thing I've noticed the most in this city is the intense spirits of creativity and expression, it's been impacting me so much, my mind can't stop racing! Creativity is written all over the people here, you can see it in their eyes.

The first night here, we were participating in a Burn(24 hours of prayer and worship), and I was so overstimulated and overwhelmed, I spilled all my thoughts of Germany into my trusted little DTS notebook, and here's what came out (I'm copying this verbatim, so please excuse any grammatical errors, it all came out so fast...)

" Into Berlin. I am so completely overwhelmed here. I instantly loved everything about this place. I can really say that I haven't seen anything I don't like about this place. The only part of our trip that I didn't love was the first leg of our train ride, which was still in the Netherlands. The train nito Berlin was probably one of the best traveling experiences I've ever had. Really. Smooth ride, spacious, first class, beautiful. I was so overwhelmed by the scenery. I love springtime delicates. I love delicate little springtime flowers, tulips, daffodils, hyacinths, crocuses, magnolias, lilacs, dogwoods and those flowering bushes that set the landscape ablaze with yellow to match an egg yolk. I love the softness of springtime. I love little new green leaves, the bright green ones that are young. They're just so green being full of new life, and they're all soft and thin so the sunlight shines through tem adding so much depth to the tree.

Getting off in Berlin was so amazing. The station (and what I've seen of the city) was so light and clean, in the natural and the spiritual. (oh, on the way in there was so much excellent rubble, beautiful abandoned buildings and crazy graffiti).

Chuck's (our contact here) house is unreal, an old hotel turned community home. I want to be connected with this home/ministry for quite some time. Something about this place is just so beautiful to me. It's so open and welcoming, I feel like Germans don't hate Americans, the two cultures seem very similar to me, but Germans are just cooler. I just really love it here.

I'll say it again, I am so overstimulated here; my mind was going wild on the way here (the Burn). I am really fascinated by the lights, the sounds, the colors, the patterns, the movements, the contrast, and the vividness of everything (because of how clean it is.) Transportation is DreamWorld. It's excessively colorful and polished, the artificial light does something strange to everything, it just seems very surreal, or filmed, or dreamt. The movement on the U Bahn and the S Bahn is odd too, but in a really good way. It's like many separate pieces that move around each other, rhythmically, but not fluidly. It's not a smooth movement, but it's so fascinating and mesmerizing. This is DreamWorld.

We're at the Burn now, and I just can't take it all in. Jackie captured it best, I think, in her little shaking fit of joy saying, "Capuccino! Milk! Blueberry cobbler! Art! Music! Friends! Ahhh!" The atmosphere here is so right, I feel at home instantly, and I'm sure it's because our DNA is so similar. I feel welcome here and I feel free here. Things just flow here. This place will be bringing some change and breakthrough for me. It is going to be a healthy environment to be in; it's one of those places that creates means to go deeper, and it fuels the hunger because it's Christ-centered and free of striving. So beautiful. Jesus, let's do this. I love you. I'm ready for change."

I was determined to update at least once a week...

...and I've failed horribly, my deepest apologies. I'm going to be intentional about updating this on my weekends. No more excuses though.

Since our Easters (the Dutch celebrate twice), we've been going at full speed, most of the time. During our stay, we participated in weekly sets at the Tabernacle of the Nations (the YWAM Amsterdam House of Prayer in the Red Light District), as well as a variety of evangelism ministries. We started out working with the Amsterdam Prayer Station, a ministry started by the Brooklyn Tabernacle. We went to two different locations within the Center City area and offered prayer to anyone we saw. During our times with the Prayer Station, we saw several individuals give their lives to Christ, some healing, and we made multiple connections with people in the city. This past month we've also found ourselves going to different locations within the city(parks, bridges, squares, even public transportation) talking to people, praying for them, and bringing Heaven down to earth. Our favorite form of ministry in this city, seems to be doing worship on the bridges in the Red Light District, especially at night. During these times of ministry we felt the most tangible Open Heavens. We loved the city and the people we met there, but when it came time to move on to Berlin, we were all ready.

He is Risen. He is Risen Indeed!

Today is Easter Sunday, and I’m spending it in Amsterdam with my Outreach Team. We arrived in Amsterdam around 9:30 yesterday morning, and we’ve been spending the past twenty-four hours settling in and combating jet lag, everyone seems to be doing alright adjusting so far, even the three children on our team. It is so good to be back in this beautiful city. I guess I didn’t realize just how much I really do love Amsterdam.

It’s going to be interesting being here the second time around. I don’t really know what to expect being here on an outreach team. It’s not that I’m not comfortable with the city, or that I’m intimidated doing ministry here, but I’m very much used to doing life here more independently, going into the city on my watch, having free time to use as I chose, simply spending more time alone. During the IMI we spent a lot of time together, but even then we had more independence, so doing this with fourteen other people, being very intentional about spending as much time together as possible, is definitely a change for me. It will be interesting to see how this month plays out.

Sidenote: Many people have identified a spirit of isolation over this city, and maybe I’m buying into it, but i really love being alone here. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel alone, it just makes me want to be alone with God. I think a big part of it is the fact that the only way I’ve known living in Amsterdam has been in a prayer internship that focuses intensely on intimacy with God, so my natural instinct here is to get alone with God. Also, I’m dying to hop on a bike and say hello to all the things I’ve missed here, hopefully this week’s schedule allows for it.

I’m going to do my best to update this weekly or biweekly, depending on our internet availability at our outreach locations. Hopefully in the weeks to come I will be able to post some pictures.